Words can’t even describe how I feel right now. I’ve never felt so hurt and betrayed before in my life. I can’t even describe my feelings and unfortunately I can only try my best and say it on here…
I know you never believed me when I said I loved you, I know I may not be your ideal girl, I know I’m not the most attractive person, I know I don’t listen to cool music or smile often but I sure as hell have the biggest heart in the world and I gave it all to you. Maybe one day you can look past all the hard times and open your eyes and realize all of this and understand my intentions were only to love you with everything I had…I never stopped caring, I never stopped loving you, I never stopped trying, I never gave up on you but most importantly I never gave up on Us.
It’s time for me to go now.
Love just isn’t as mysterious as you think it is. All the signs are right in front of you, if you would just open your eyes. (via hidontbecreepy)
This is the realist writing I’ve read on tumblr
I believe that true love and fate are intrinsically intertwined. Sometimes, the person that you are truly meant to fall in love with will come into your life in the strangest, most unexpected way. Your true love may shock you. You may find yourself discounting your feelings based solely on your inability to see how it could possibly work. “We are too different,” “The timing is all wrong,” “There is too much distance,” “I always thought that I would fall for somebody different,” “I’m still in love with so-and-so,” etc. My advice to you is to throw away your conventions and preconceived notions. People come into your life for a reason. If you feel that click with someone, it does not matter anymore where either of you came from, where you’ve been, or where you thought you were going. Grab onto that person and run with them wherever fate takes you. Let go of the idea of the person that you thought was perfect, or that your mother would like, and direct your eyes to the blinding light that is the person that loves your soul. Grab hold of that beautiful person that has heard your purest wishes and your darkest desires and everything in between and has embraced and celebrated it all. Never EVER let them go, no matter their baggage or past. Not for all the bright smiles and perfect curls and charming laughs of the person you thought might have been “perfect.” Look to the one who never stops worrying, never stops trying, never stops reaching out, no matter how hard you try to push them away, or how much you hurt them. Because that is the person that loves you. Look to the person that you don’t have to pretend for. Look to the person who accepts your tears and your anger and your apathy and your smiles and your wit and your dirty mind and loves it all. Look to the person that you can be totally open with because you know they would never judge you. Look to the person that was there for you in ways that you never thought anyone would be, even when it hurt them. Look to the person who wants to know about every stupid little part of your life. Look to the person who cares about your family and your friends and your pets though they never even met them. Look to the person who sends you messages just to check in, and wishes that you have a good day. Look to the person that tries to be what you need. Look to the person that encourages your dreams and applauds all of your triumphs— no matter how small. Look to that person, and know that it does not matter where they came from, who they were before, how different you are, how damaged they are, how strangely they came into your life, or how impossible the obstacles between you may seem. Because that is the person who will love you your whole life long. That is the person who will never let you down. That is the person who will treasure you with their dying breath. Fate has worked very hard to bring you two together. Don’t you dare let go.
She deserves better, you say. I say: You’re a goddamn coward. What she deserves is an actual person she can connect with. She deserves you, or me or the entire world; she deserves someone achingly real and honest. She deserves a human being equally raw to pursue her and love her and, perhaps, destroy her emotionally, but she deserves all that as well. She doesn’t deserve anyone’s sugary fairytale. She deserves to float freely, with you, or me, or the world, into the very depths of her own psychosynthesis. She deserves to explore the meaning of the word "intimacy", with someone beside her that will care regardless. She fucking deserves all of it. So, pluck up the courage and be with her or leave her in peace but don’t you dare "sell" her your own "inadequacy" as a lie so that, again, you manage to comfort your conscience and eventually come to feel that you love her exactly because you’re letting her go. Because, darling, that’s bullshit. That’s only you own little self-created lie laying behind a much bigger lie; it’s not even properly concealed within itself.
When you meet someone who tries their hardest to stick by you regardless of how difficult you are, keep them. Keep them at all costs because finding someone who cares enough to look past your flaws isn’t something that happens every day.
I don’t have a fear of commitment. I have a fear of abandonment. We all screw things up. I screw things up, especially with people I love. I get needy, I get moody, I get distant, I want to be close, I get confused. I don’t understand all of it, but I keep pushing because I hope this thing, this universe, there’s no way that I’m the only person out there who wants something this bad, if I want it, someone else out there must too.
I’m lonely. What kind of loneliness? Every kind. I feel disconnected. Abandoned. As always. Repetition. So what, my love? So what? At first, I just wanted to run away. Now I have no where else to run to, nothing to run from. I don’t belong anywhere, I don’t want to go anywhere, I just want to be happy.
I can’t think of a better caption right now other than this happened AGAIN! This night was beautiful ♡ #conoroberst #bestnight #ilookhorrible (at The Tap Bar and Restaurant)
Three years ago today this happened. I’m so happy Conor Oberst booked a last minute show here and I’m so excited to see him on Monday! He has been such an inspiration to me from as far back as I can remember. His music has helped me get through a lot of hard times in my life which is why he is such a huge inspiration to me. I was so lucky and honored to have met him and talked to him, I can’t even put into words how excited I felt as you can see from the dumb look on my face! It’s pretty awesome how someone’s music can have such an impact on your life. Anyway, just wanted to share this with my fellow tumblr buddies and also because I’m pretty excited for Monday :)